Funny stuff that are Funny

codons:

this girl who rode my bus once came up to me and was like “oh my god dont get offended or anything but are you GAAAAAAAAAAY?!” and i was like yeah and then she was like “OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO HANG OUT AND GO SHOPPING” and i was like “dont get offended or anything but are you ASIAN?!” and she was like “omg yeah im filipino” and i was like “OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO MAKE SPRING ROLLS AT YOUR HOUSE SOME TIME” and she never talked to me again 

pricksatmywindow:

at my funeral when they’re lowering me into the ground i demand they play drop it like its hot

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
149,060 plays

nerdangels:

moraniarty:

pussypoppintoradiodisney:

thatfilthyanimal:

ruinedchildhood:

When I drop food on the floor.

 

fuck

oh my fuCKING GOD

oh my fuck

this is literally my favourite post ever on tumblr.

mark-wahlburgers:

i do not have a faq

i do not get asked frequent questions

let alone the same question that is asked frequently

When I wake up on my birthday:

thewisepickle:

What I expect my parents have planned:

What they actually do:

Follow the wise pickle for more.

When you talk to people outside of Tumblr and forget they don't speak the same language as you.
Me: omfg send help I'm dying
Them: what?!
Me: i can't even omg
Them: you can't even what?
Me: I just can't even okay I just tHEY ARE TOO PERFECT IM SOBBING I CAN'T
Them: WOW WHY ARE WE SCREAMING ALL OF A SUDDEN
Me: I just have a lot of feelings aojhshfkndjfoejfomdvoebmo
Them: .....what is that
Me: my feelings on a keyboard sIGH
Them: ....riIiiiight
Me: UGH I HATE THEM FOR DOING THIS TO ME NO THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS I LITERALLY CANNOT HANDLE ALL OF THE FEELS sjkdjdncdenci
Them: then why don't you just stop reading/watching all of that stuff if you hate them?
Me: nO I CAN'T ARE YOU CRAZY I LOVE THEM SUHOUHVDHIFJEOFJ THEY'RE KILLING ME BECAUSE FEELINGS BUT I LOVE THEM THEY'RE MY BABIES
Them: wow it's just fictional characters/celebrities, stop overreacting, you're being dramatic
Me: NO OKAY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Them: I understand plenty, you're being dramatic like I said
Me: NO YOU DON'T GET IT suchdifhrojgorgjorgjo ugh my emotions I can't take this tHEY ARE FLAWLESS
Them: .....
Me: literally dead omfg
Them:
Me: SOBBING
Me: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL

ludacrisp:

people who post about their weight loss on facebook

i left my iphone on the counter and when i wasn’t looking my dad took a really scary/ ugly/ creepy/ unsettling/ weird picture of himself and set it as my background. i literally screamed when i first saw it and now i just think it’s so funny so i decided that i’m never changing my wallpaper again